Sunday, October 14, 2007

DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO BEING AN ANIMATOR!

Ever had the need to fake being an animator convincingly, so as to impress a lady you had just met at a party? Not had the time to learn how to animate? Never fear, crsP is here to turn you into a genuine bona-fide animator, in less than one day! Shall we begin? Let's!

There are two things that make an animator. Let us investigate. If you look around, you will find many drawings made by animators, which are curiously drawn in blue. Animator types will have you believe that the reason for this would be that the blue colour was not visible during the copying procedure so clean up could be done directly over the rough blue pencils. But the truth is that in the days of Renaissance painting, the most opulent colour to use was blue, as the pigment used to mix the paint for that colour was more difficult to get and thus more expensive. Animators like to use the tradition of the regal blue as a warning signal to artists of other media of their superior might. Note that they present most of their blue 'animated drawings' on normal paper with no peg holes. So firstly you will need a blue pencil.

The other thing that defines an animator is Life Drawing. The animator, typically sexually deprived, will take as much opportunity to gaze upon naked flesh as they can get. To avoid the chances of being put in prison for their obvious deviant behaviour, the animator will make drawings of the naked and call them 'studies', which could later be used in court as evidence in their case. Note that there are more cartoons about animals than there are of women with unshaven areas.
So the solution is simple. You just need to make a drawing of a nude, in blue pencil and leave it lying about casually where you live.

As you can see, you don't even need to have drawn from life, as in the above picture which I produced some months ago. Obviously the proportions and pose are a bit off [understatement] in this drawing. But it's just enough to fool the casual observer.

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