Wednesday, January 30, 2013

POE-PEE THE DOODLE MAN

Not one for the elaborate phone doodle - if you do see these, 'more than squiggles' drawings, and it was you on the other end of the phone conversation, then that person is trying to tell you that you are boring.

So thank goodness for customer 'service' who are willing to put you on hold long enough to complete an opus animation. Animated twenty-four frames a second. idiots

Here's the process behind the thinking, for those who want to follow along and create their own masterpieces!

It starts with some random double-helix scribbles - classic phone sketch fodder. Then, artfully transformed into some sort of bacteriophage. Mmm, nice! Then, a glove puppet enters, stage right - HUZZAH! Now, a puppet with no master is one for suspicion. What devilry controls this hand-less abomination?! Thus an arm was drawn out into a body. And the logical conclusion resulted in a Poe-pee sporting a berét.

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Saturday, December 08, 2007

CHECK OUT THESE NIPPLES!

My fan must have noticed the dearth of posts lately. Largely due to uploading of images being a difficult thing to do using Safari browser. Some times it works, most times not. I'm not entirely sure I've found the reasons for it's erratic behavior, but I'm experimenting. These were uploaded first time. Just to add to the confusion. I now refuse to download Camino browser or any others just to post images. It's the principle.

This is my clementine. I was going to save it, but it looked so juicy and mouth watering. So I delicately peeled off her outer garment, separated her segments with my fingers, and extended my tongue to lap up the excess fluids which squirted and trickled down her sides. I greedily proceeded to masticate on my clementine. Oh my darling...

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Saturday, October 20, 2007

SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES

Couldn't neglect all you horny females who clamour to this site for some mental massage. This was another thing from a few months ago that I decided to 'complete'. A lot of it is rushed, as you can tell.

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO BEING AN ANIMATOR!

Ever had the need to fake being an animator convincingly, so as to impress a lady you had just met at a party? Not had the time to learn how to animate? Never fear, crsP is here to turn you into a genuine bona-fide animator, in less than one day! Shall we begin? Let's!

There are two things that make an animator. Let us investigate. If you look around, you will find many drawings made by animators, which are curiously drawn in blue. Animator types will have you believe that the reason for this would be that the blue colour was not visible during the copying procedure so clean up could be done directly over the rough blue pencils. But the truth is that in the days of Renaissance painting, the most opulent colour to use was blue, as the pigment used to mix the paint for that colour was more difficult to get and thus more expensive. Animators like to use the tradition of the regal blue as a warning signal to artists of other media of their superior might. Note that they present most of their blue 'animated drawings' on normal paper with no peg holes. So firstly you will need a blue pencil.

The other thing that defines an animator is Life Drawing. The animator, typically sexually deprived, will take as much opportunity to gaze upon naked flesh as they can get. To avoid the chances of being put in prison for their obvious deviant behaviour, the animator will make drawings of the naked and call them 'studies', which could later be used in court as evidence in their case. Note that there are more cartoons about animals than there are of women with unshaven areas.
So the solution is simple. You just need to make a drawing of a nude, in blue pencil and leave it lying about casually where you live.

As you can see, you don't even need to have drawn from life, as in the above picture which I produced some months ago. Obviously the proportions and pose are a bit off [understatement] in this drawing. But it's just enough to fool the casual observer.

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